The Magical Adventures of the Magical Purple Pen!
by winchestre
Summary: good i promise! read and leave a review! and title ideas!
1. The Purple Pen

**Hola! **

**Ok, this is kind of a random story...but enjoy!**

**Review!!**

It all started on the day Olivia (Liv for short(That's me!)) finished Blood Promise by Richelle Mead. She was so torn up because Dimitri had become a Strigoi in Shadow Kiss, and was very upset when Rose almost killed him. But now she was simply infatuated with Dimitri. She had been doodling _Dimitri + Olivia all _day on her notebook in different pen colors.

But it all changed when she got to purple.

_Dimitri suddenly appeared met Olivia... _She wrote. Then added, _but from the part before he met Rose, :P_ "I would just love it if Dimitri was real..." She sighed. Then, she heard a crash downstairs.

"What?" She said shakily. She was the only one home! She hesitantly walked down the stairs, and saw a tall, dark haired person standing with his back to her, picking up the broken vase. "Um, excuse me?" She said boldly. Then he turned around.

"I apologize, I am Dimitri Belikov." Liv's mouth dropped open.

"You...you're...oh my god. You're Dimitri Belikov!!" She squealed with delight.

He looked surprised. "Do I know you?"

"Um...no. But I know you! You're from Vampire Academy, or St. Vladimir's, and you were born in Baia, which is in Siberia." She smiled.

He looked rather nervous. "Um. How do you know all this?" It was rather shocking that she knew where he was born!

"You're in a book, and I somehow wrote you out of it. But it's all good! I've, like, always wanted to meet you!"

"Oh. A book? Really? What's it called?" He was curios now!

"Hold that thought," Said Olivia as she raced up the stairs to get her Vampire Academy book. When she handed it back to Dimitri, he scowled at the girl on the cover. Take that, Rose!! She thought. Dimitri flipped to page one. "Hey..." He said. "I was just there! Getting the Dragomir Princess and her guardian!" He said.

"Yeah, well, that's all unimportant. You don't even like the guardian anyways,"

"But it says here I-" He pointed near the end of the book. (Just guess people!)

"Oh, that's Mr. Dashkov's evil magic working. Trust me, it's better for everyone if you leave it alone!" She rushed out.

"Oh, ok." Liv whipped out her iphone and texted her best friend, Katy, who was in love with Adrian.

"What is that?" Asked Dimitri.

"Oh, it's a cellphone. Richelle doesn't really mention them in the books."

"Oh. So there is more than one book?"

"Yes. Do you want me to tell you what would have happened?" Dimitri nodded. "Well, you turn into a Strigoi because of Rose."

"A Strigoi? Nooo!" He said loudly.

"I know, it is very sad. And that would have happened if you stayed in the book and fell in love with Rose!"

"Was Rose that ugly girl on the cover?" He asked.

"Yes." Olivia patted his sexy shoulder. "But it's ok!" There was a loud knock on the door.

"LIV!!!! LET ME INNNN!" Shouted Katy. Liv ran to the door.

"OMG!! Is that Dimitri!!?" She said, pointing to the sexy Russian.

"Yep!!" Squealed Liv. "And we can try Adrian too!"

"YAY!!!" Katy yelled. She was totally team Adrian.

"Come on!" She grabbed Katy's hand and pulled her up the stairs to get the magic pen.

_Adrian suddenly appeared and met Katy... _She wrote. Then there was another crash, and Adrian yelling "What the fuck?"

"AHHHHH!" Screamed Katy as she bolted down the stairs. Liv, thinking about Vampire Academy, remembered poor Christian. And her friend Sophie, who was in love with him! She texted Sophie, who showed up 5 minutes later.

"LET ME TRY, LIVI!!!" She yelled when she got there. Liv had the purple pen ready and wrote,

_Christian suddenly appeared and met Sophie... _

Then, BANG!! Another crash, and an annoyed Christian stood in between Adrian and Katy, who were making out, and a very awkward looking Dimitri.

"Hey...where the hell am I?" He said. He looked at Dimitri. "Oh! Hey, Guardian B."

"Um, hi, Christian," Said Dimitri.

"Where are we?"

"At Olivia's house. But she said it is much better here, because she has proof that I would be Strigoi!" He said.

"And you and Lissa break up." I interjected.

"Lissa? Who's Lissa?" Liv had taken him from the part before he had met Lissa.

"Nevermind!" Said Sophie. "I'm Sophie." She said.

"Hi, Sophie." He smiled at her. Which was surprising, considering what Richelle had written about him. But she was apparently wrong!

"Crap. I have to babysit Marissa later!" She told Sophie. Marissa was Liv's 12-year old sister. (Liv was 17.)

"Oh, well. She loves Vampire Academy!" Said Katy, who had pulled back from Adrian.

"True. My parents are going to drop her here in like 30 minutes." Said Liv.

"So what do we do now?" Asked Dimitri.

Sophie, Katy and Liv looked at each other. "Dare...or Dare!!!" They said in unison.

"Dare or...dare? There are no options," Said Dimitri.

"That's the point, silly!" Said Liv. She grabbed Dimitri's hand and pulled him to her bedroom with everyone else. She flicked on the lights.

"Ok. Katy starts." Said Liv.

"Ok! Dimitri...dare or dare?" She said.

"Um...dare?" He said nervously.

"I dare you..." She looked at Sophie, Christian and Adrian and pulled their heads in. They whispered quietly, and she pulled back. "...to kiss Olivia!" She said loudly.

Dimitri looked nervous, but like he wanted to. "Ok." He turned to face Olivia and pulled her face towards his, and their lips met. Katy and Sophie awwwwed at them, anf Christian made a blech noise. Liv's hand tangled in Dimitri's soft hair and it got hotter...until Christian cleared his throat.

"Ech hem!" He said. "EGGGH HEMMM!!!" More loudly. Dimitri and Liv pulled up, breathing hard. Liv giggled and scooted over closer to Dimitri.

"Ok, my turn now?" Said Dimitri. Katy nodded. "Ok. Christian, dare or dare?"

"Oh, this is a _hard _one," He said sarcastically. "I don't know...dare?"

"I dare you...to light Adrian on fire!" Adrian shot up from where he and Katy were making out on the floor.

"What? No!" He yelled. But his hand was on fire...and then his arm...then his shirt...then his whole body! He was rolling on the floor, trying to put out the flames, and Katy was trying to help. Everyone else was rolling with laughter. Christian put out the flames (which only tickled)...and Adrian was butt naked!!!

"AHHH!" Screamed Liv and Sophie, who were not interested at all, and Katy just ran and got a towel for Adrian.

"HAHAH!!!" They all laughed. Adrian was turning bright red. Then Liv had an idea.

_A hot pink tutu suddenly appeared, in Adrian's size... _she wrote with the purple pen. Then, Adrian was wearing a hot pink tutu. "AHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed.

"My manliness....it it slipping away!! NO!" He yelled, sinking to the floor. Katy comforted him and scolded Liv to get him normal clothes.

"Ok, fine." _Normal clothes appeared on Adrian... _and they did.

"I like this pen!" Said Liv. "I wonder what else it can do..."

Then an annoying, 12 - year old voice yelled, "I'm heeeree!"

**AHHH!!!! Crazy, huh??**

**Well review!!! With ideas!!! **

**Next chappie will b up sooner with reviews!!**


	2. Team Edward

**Chapter 2!! **

**Team Edward! **

**REVIEW!!**

"AHHH!" Screamed Christian when he heard the creepy 12 year old voice. "What is that?" He asked, horrified.

Liv rolled her eyes. "That is my little sister."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Said Christian dramatically. Everyone just stared at him.

"Hi, LivLiv!" Said Marissa when she burst in, uninvited. "How's it..." She stared at Dimitri, Adrian, and Christian. "Are you...D-D-Dim-Dimitri B-B-Belikov?" She stuttered. Dimitri looked at Liv, unsure of what to do. "Um, yes," He said.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!" She screamed as she ran at Dimitri. Liv tried to stop her, but she was too powerful. She slammed into Dimitri and started kissing him on the cheek over and over and over...

"Ew! Get her off of me!!!" He yelled.

"Marissa! Get off of Dimitri!" She did, but just ran over in front of Christian. "And you...you must be Christian!!" She hugged him, but Christian threatened to set her on fire. She let go quickly, and as she was talking to Adrian, Liv had an idea. She pulled out the purple pen and wrote...

_Suddenly Edward appeared and met Marissa... _

Then there was a tapping on the window. Dimitri went to open the curtains, and screamed when he did. Because creepy Edward was there, stalking them.

"Excuse me, but do any of you know of a window I can climb into? Or perhaps someone I can watch sleep? No? Maybe I can invade all of your privacy by reading your deepest darkest thoughts without permission? Or can I just glitter somewhere?" He asked.

Marissa looked up slowly. "Eh. Mah. Gawd." She said when she saw Edward. She shoved Adrian out of the way and ran into the window. "EDWARD!!!! YOU CAN WATCH ME SLEEP!!!!" She yelled. God, she was such a Twi-hard. Everyone else just busted out laughing. Marissa quickly unlatched the window and let him in, and he started staring at her.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Asked Adrian.

"Oh. Sorry. Staring is my version of kissing." Said Edward.

"Whatever, Ed-weird." Said Christian. Then Christian had an idea. "Are vampires flammable?" He asked evilly.

"Why, yes actually-" His eyes widened when he saw the ball of fire in Christian's hand. "AHHHHH!!!!" He started running like a girl, with Christian chasing him, and Marissa chasing Christian, and the Sophie chased Marissa, and Katy chased her, and Adrian tried to keep up but just collapsed because he was so lazy. Dimitri ran past all of them and was right behind Christian and then Liv was behind him(there was a nice view of his sexy Russian ass). Then Edward broke through the door and Christian cackled evilly, Marissa said "Noooo" Because Edward was most likely going to die, and they all ran into town where a Twilight convention was being held. Once Edward stupidly decided to burst through the tent flap, there was no stopping the crazy masses of old women and tweens in love with Twilight. "Uh oh." Said Sophie, Liv, and Katy in unison.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yelled all of the fangirls on team Edward. "IT'S EDWARD!!!! BITE ME!!!!!!!!"

"Oh no!! To...many...thoughts....going...slowly....insane..." Said Edward. He fell to the ground, making odd noises, and the fangirls mobbed him, leaving behind a very ugly and confused Robert Pattinson, shirtless Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart. Well, Kristen just so happened to be a fan of Vampire Academy. "Oh my god!" She yelled. "Are you Dimitri Belikov?!?!?" She screamed. Taylor looked down at his 10 pack, Robert played with his hair, and Dimitri rolled his eyes and said "Yes."

"AAAAH!!" Yelled Kristen. She ran over to Dimitri. "But you'r ein the best book in the world, and now you're alive? How is that possible? I mean, it's definitely cool and all that your here, but-"

"Wait." Interupted Sophie. "You play Bella in _TWILIGHT _and you think Vampire Academy is the best?" Kristen nodded. "I would love to play Rose! Oh...and Dimitri could be Dimitri!!!!" She squealed.

"Um, no." Said Katy. "Look, we kind of need Edward, so can you call off the freaky fangirls?"

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. Nothing will stop them. NOTHING!!" She laughed evilly.

"Oh yeah? How about if there was a ball of FIRE in your face?" Said Christian, laughing MORE evilly.

"Do you want me to turn into a wolf and EAT you?" Said Taylor Lautner.

"Taylor, how many times do we need to explain this? You are an ACTOR." Said Kristen.

"Oh."

"Ok we just need Edward so we can leave!" Said Katy.

"Fine, fine." Said Robert Pattinson. "Security!" He yelled. A lot of huge guys walked over and Robert nodded toward the mass of girls. They ran over and started separating the pile.

"Wow. That was really cool of you!" Said Sophie.

"Yeah, well, I don't want that Edward wannabe stealing MY spotlight." He said.

"Um, that actually is Edward!" Said Marissa.

Robert laughed sarcastically. "Suuuure." Just then a very disgruntled Edward walked over to them.

"I...was mobbed!" He said. His clothes were messed up and ripped, and his hair, which was normally in a "casual dissaray" was now in total disarray.

"Sorry." Said Marissa. "It's just you kinda ran in here and all..."

"Oh."

"Can we please leave?" Said Adrian.

"When did you get here?" Said Katy.

"Just now."

"Then why do you want to leave?"

"Because I hate Twilight." Marissa gasped and slapped him across the face. "Ow!"

"NOBODY hates Twilight. NOBODY!!!" Just then sirens started flaring.

"Are they arresting the angry mob of Twilighters?" Asked Dimitri.

"OLIVIA, KATY, SOPHIE, 'ADRIAN', 'DIMITRI', 'CHRISTIAN', 'EDWARD' AND MARISSA!!! YOU ARE ALL UNDER ARREST FOR CHARACTER IMPERSONATION!! PLEASE STEP OUT OF THE BUILDING WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD!!" Said a policeman.

"Shit. Seriously? Fuck you, Edward this is your fault." Said Adrian.

"What? How?" Said Edward spastically.

"Come on. Let's deal with the 'law'." Said Sophie, walking towards the exit. A policeman grabbed her and handcuffed her as soon as she was outside.

"What the fuck?" Said Adrian when they arrested him.

"You are under arrest!!!" Said some ugly fat guy.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Said Christian. The guy backed away. Eventually they were all in the car and the police man drove them to jail.

"Ok, Edward, once we are there, you can break us out, ok?" Said Liv.

Edward looked nervous. "Uhh...you guys should know that I'm a pacifist."

"WHAT?!" They all yelled.

"Wait! I have the PURPLE PEN!!!" Said Liv. I can make some people help us! MUAHAHA!!"

"Oh dear. This will be interesting.

**All done! Like it? Love it? Leave a review!! **

**Who should they bring in to help them out of jail? Lol only Edward could get them arrested...**

**Oh well! More funny in the next chapter!! **

**AND REVIEW!!**


	3. Jailbirds

**Jailbirds!**

**Heyy!! Thanks to all who reviewed!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! **

**Enjoy chapter 3!**

"Seriously. We are seriously in jail." Said Sophie.

Edward was rocking back and forth in a corner, Dimitri was sitting on the small bed with Liv, Katy and Adrian were making out again, Marissa was sitting next to Edward, and Sophie and Christian were devising an escape plan. (They were both diabolical) Then a big, mean looking prisoner walked up to Liv.

"Hey, baby. You wanna get dirty?" He asked rather rudely.

"Ew, no, perv!" Said Liv.

Dimitri glared frighteningly at the odd man. "Back away. Now." The guy just laughed and tried to punch Dimitri, but Dimitri, being a ninja, caught his hand and flipped him onto the ground, then kicked him in the face.

"That's my sexy ninja," Said Liv, smiling.

"Hey! No fighting!" Yelled the guard. Dimitri punched the pervy guy again and walked back to the bed, pulling Liv into his lap.

"Have you come up with anything?" Asked Katy, taking a momentary breather.

"Unfortunatly, no. Unless...unless Liv had the pen!" Said Christian.

"Oh yeah! The pen!" Said Liv. "Hey, guard, can I have a piece of paper?" She asked.

"Um..." He looked at his guard buddy. "Sure?" He handed her a pad of sticky notes.

"Ok. Who do we bring here?" Asked Liv.

"How about a _useful _vampire?" Suggested Sophie.

"Yeah. All Ed-weird does is sit in the corner and cry." Said Christian.

"True." Said Liv. She tapped her chin with the pen. "How about...Fang? And Iggy? Or, you know, the whole flock?"

"What about some guardians?" Said Dimitri.

"Good idea. So for the vampires: Emmett. For the flock: Fang and Iggy, and for the guardians: Alberta, Stan, um, Mark (from BP), and all of the other ones I can't think of." Said Liv.

"Sounds good to me," Said Sophie. Liv began to write.

"Wait, Emmett is probably more stupid than Edward, so not him." Interjected Adrian. Liv nodded.

_All of a sudden, Fang, Iggy, and all of the guardians from St. Vladimir's Academy showed up to help Sophie, Liv, Katy, Dimitri, Adrian, Christian, Edward, and Marissa out of jail..._

About a minute late, there was a BOOM.

"Whoa, Fang!! What did it look like? I knew Big Boy would come in handy..." Said Iggy's voice.

Katy gasped. "Iggy!" She whispered.

All of the other inmates went crazy.

"EXPLOSION!!! AHHH! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIEEE" They yelled. Adrian laughed evilly.

"MUAHAHAH!!!" He showed his fangs and freaked them out even more.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH VAAAAMMMMPPIIIREEE!!!!!" They all ran around some more, like crazy fish or something.

"Was that really necessary?" Said Liv.

"YES!" Said Adrian.

"Where are they?" Said Alberta.

"Over here!" Dimitri whisper-yelled.

"Oh! Hi Dimitri!" Waved Stan.

"I don't like you, Stan. No one does, remember?" Said Dimitri.

"Oh." Fang walked into view.

"Hi. I'm Fang. Um...we are here to break you out of prison." He said, kind of formal for him.

"Cool!" Said Christian. "How?"

"Well, I have another bomb-" Started Iggy.

"NO!!" they all yelled.

"Fine, fine!" Said Iggy defensively.

"I know! We can use our awesome ninja skills and steal the keys to the door!" Said Mark.

"No, that's boring." Said Alberta.

"Ok...how, then?"

"I say we go with the bomb." Said Stan.

They all looked at each other and said, "Yeah."

"Ok. all of you get back against the wall!" Said Iggy. He was tie-ing a nasty looking bomb to the bar. "One..." Iggy pushed a button. "Two..." Fang covered his ears. "THREE!!!!" Iggy ran back and the bomb blasted a large hole in the

bars.

"YEAHHHH!!!!!!" Cheered Adrian, Christian, Liv, Dimitri and...well, you get the point.

"EH!! BRIGHT LIGHT!!" Said Edward, who was glittering.

"Stop glittering, you fag!! It's so gay!" Said Adrian.

"I can't help it. It makes me who i iz" Said Edward.

"I think he gets like drunk from the sunlight..." Said Christian.

"Come on!" Said Fang. Alberta had already knocked out the guards, and the other inmates were knocked out from the bomb blast. Dimitri and Liv ran through the hole, then Katy, then Sophie and Christian, then Marissa, who was pulling Edward, who was freaking out about the mess and rambling about his OCD.

"You know the reason I control Bella so much? I have OCD. It's weird, but convenient. I'm just glad I finally found a girlfriend...but my brothers don't see what she sees in me..." On and on he went.

"Hey..." Said Katy. "Where the heck is Adrian?" She looked back. "Oh, shit, he's asleep on the floor." She walked over to him. "ADRIAN!! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! WE HAVE TO GO!" She yelled in his ear.

His head snapped up. "What?"

"We have to LEAVE" She repeated.

"Oh. Ok." He got up and staggered out.

"I think he's drunk..." Said Dimitri to Liv.

"How?"

"I have no idea." They chuckled and walked out the hole in the side of the prison.

"Ok, where do we go now?" Said Mark.

"Well, I can send you guys back, if you want-" Started Liv.

"NO! WE WANT TO STAY!" They said in unison.

"Ok, ok. Go do whatever you want, just don't kill people." Said Sophie.

They nodded. "As for you..." Liv looked at Edward.

"What?" He asked. "Does this have something to do with my stalker-ishness?" He said.

"What? No! I am sending you back. You're just an annoying pain in the-"

"NO! You CAN'T send Eddie-poo back!" Said Marissa.

"Ok, ok!"

"Let's go to Burger King!" Said Iggy.

"Yes!! I am hungry!" Said Fang.

"Ok." Said Liv. They started in the direction of the mall.

"Hey! Liv! What about Taylor? You know she loves Fang," Said Katy.

"Yeah! Definitely. Text her to meet us at BK." Said Liv. Taylor was their other friend, and was in LOVE with Fang, although she didn't like VA as much.

"YOU!!!!" Said a loud, annoying voice.

It was...

**MUAHAHA!!! CLIFFIE!!  
**

**Review and we shall find out who the 'voice' is...**

**REVIEW**

**Katy: Review or i'll sic adrian on u!!**

**sophie: Adrian is harmless**

**katy: oh yeah...well I make him grow plants at you! MUAHAHA!!**

**liv:shut up katy **

**sophie: ya let the nice ppl review!  
**

**katy: fine party poopers. REVIEW NOW!!**

**hehehe i just luv my bffs...lol review!! katy was serious!! **


	4. BK and Hannah Montana

**CHAPTER 4!!! YAYY**

**REVIEW!!!! :)**

**_previously..._**

"YOU!" Said a loud, annoying voice. It was...

Rose. Yep, that's right. Rose Hathaway.

"Uh oh." Said Sophie.

"You!" Dimitri shot back. "You're the one who made me become a Strigoi!"

"No, I- oh. Well, that's unimportant. You're in love with me, remember Dimitri??" She sounded reeaallyy desperate.

"Who are you?" Said Edward.

"Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway."

"Nooo. You haven't graduated yet!" Corrected Katy.

"You know what, Rose? I'm over you." Said Adrian. "I realized...that you really are mean!"

Rose looked appalled. "I am not, you bitch!"

"She's just proving his point." Said Dimitri. "Now please leave."

"NO! Dimitri, we were meant for each other! It's why I killed you!" She said.

"Oh, yeah, that makes me want to date you." Said Dimitri sarcastically.

"NOO!! I HAVE NO ONE!" She yelled, sinking to the floor and crying.

"Well, there's always Stan..." Suggested Liv, although she was repulsed at the thought of Stan.

"OK!" Rose ran off in the direction the guardians went.

"LIV! KATY!! SOPHIE!" Yelled Taylor. "WHERE'S FANG!?" She looked around for a second, then she saw him. "Fang! Hi!" She immediately went up and hugged him.

"You know, you're way better than Max..." He trailed off, gazing dreamily into her eyes. (hehe this is taylor!! i wrote that line!)

"Can we _please _get something to eat now?" Said Iggy, who was bitter for still being alone.

"Hey..." Liv had an idea. "You like pretty girls, right Iggy?" Iggy nodded his head vigorously.

_Rosalie suddenly appeared and fell madly in love with Iggy, and they started making out... _She knew Iggy would love this. Iggy, the pyro-pervert.

Suddenly Rosalie was running across the mall to Iggy.

"Iggy!" She cried, flinging herself into his arms.

"Well, hello!" Said Iggy. They started making out passionately, and Iggy was finally happy.

"I'm hungry!" Edward whined.

"Edward, you're a vampire. Therefore, you drink blood." Said Taylor.

"Oh." He said. The whole group walked over to Burger King.

"Ok, what does everyone want?" Asked a waitress once they were seated.

"Um...I'll have two double cheeseburgers, a side of fries, and an extra-large Dr. Pepper." Said Fang.

"Ditto." Said Iggy, who had Rosalie in his lap.

"I want a bloody mary!" Said Edward.

"Hey..." Said Rosalie, noticing Edward for the first time, "You aren't supposed to be here! No one likes you! Send him back!" She demanded.

"NO!!!" Said Marissa, who was clinging to Edward. Rosalie just glared at her.

"ANYway," Said Adrian, "I want a grilled cheese and...some beer. No, make that two beers."

"Okay..." Said the waitress.

"I'll have some spicy buffalo wings and a Coke." Said Christian. The waitress was writing really fast.

"Um...I want some chicken nuggets and a Dr. Pepper." Said Taylor.

"I'll have a pizza!" Said Edward. "It's me and Bella's food!" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"I want a full pizza with pepperoni, pineapple and peppers please," Said Dimitri. "Oh, and a sprite."

"I want fries. And a Mountain Dew."

"I'll eat leftovers." Said Sophie.

"Me, too." Said Katy.

"I want a Caeser salad and a Dr. Pepper." Said Liv. The waitress was practically sweating.

"ok...anything else?" She said.

"Nope." Said Adrian. The waitress hurried off.

"Wait...where are we gonna get money?" Asked Sophie.

"The pen!" Exclaimed Liv.

_All of a sudden all of Adrian's money appeared in Liv's new Marc Jacobs purse... _

Liv checked her purse, and it was full to the brim with money! "Yay!" She exclaimed.

"What?" Asked Adrian he grabbed the napkin with the ink on it. "Hey!" He said. "That's stealing!" He shrugged. "Oh, well." Liv laughed.

---

After they had all finished eating, Liv slapped a few hundreds onto the table, allowing the waitress a _very _generous tip. They walked out, and the girls wanted to go shopping.

"Noooo" Groaned Adrian.

"Whatever." Said Christian.

"YAY!!!" Said Edward.

Iggy was making out with Rosalie.

And Fang was making out with Taylor on a bench. (hehe taylor again!! I LOVE FANG!!!)

"So that's a yes?" Asked Katy.

"No. That is a no!" Said Adrian.

Just then, Hannah Montana burst into song on a stage in front of them

_Nobody's perfect..._

_U live and u learn it..._

_Because everybody makes mistakes..._

Marissa gagged, and everyone else started booing. Then she pulled Dimitri onto the stage.

"Hey, sexy pants!" She said into the microphone. "How `bout a dance?" She pulled him closer, but Dimitri grabbed her and threw her off the stage. Everybody cheered like crazy and Hannah Montana's wig fell off, revealing that she was Miley Cyrus!!

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Said Edward. "IT CAN'T BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" EEDWARD CCCUULLLEEENN!!!!!!" Screamed all of the tweens in the mall.

"oh, not again." Said Christian. "Let's make a run for it." They all nodded and took off towards the exit. They opened the door, and a forest was right outside.

The kind of forest from Forks.

"Uh oh." Said Sophie when she heard a wolf howl somewhere far away in the cold, dark forest.*

**Hahaha!!! That last part was from eclipse, ncase u didn't no. **

**review review review!! especially if u h8 hanna montana!**


	5. Pixies and Meteors

**HEYYYY PEOPLES!!!!  
THIS IS KATY, AND I AM WRITING THIS CHAPTER!!! **

**well sophie liv n taytay r gonna help me...but here goes nothin!!**

**DONT 4GET 2 REVIEW**

**oh and this is chapter 4 and its called who's afraid of the big bad wolf oh yeah EDWARD**

"oh, no!" Edward yelled, like a girl i might add. "it's the scary forest!! THE PIXIES ARE GOING TO EAT ME!!!!!"

"Pixies?" Asked the beautiful Adrian.

"MY SISTER!!!! SHE KNOW THE FUTURE CUZ SHE'S AN ALIEN!!!!" He was on the floor now, ripping out his hair from insanity.

"uhhhmmm...I don't know what to say to that." Said Adrian.

"Wait. This is the forest from Eclipse!" Said Sophie.

Marissa was looking very guilty.

"What did you do, Marissa?" Asked Liv angrily!

"Well...I kind of found this green pen of yours so I could pretend it was the purple one...and I tested it out...and this happened!" She said.

"wonderful. just wonderful." Said Rosalie. "i think I just heard dog-boy."

"Oh yeah? Well I heard you too, blondie!" Said a deep voice.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Screeched Rosalie.

"MUAHAHAH!" Laughed a shirtless and sexy Jacob Black evilly.

"grr!" said Edward threateningly.

"Ew, its the bloodsucker!" Said Jacob.

"Hahah! You are unable to approach me with my amazing scent!! I just put on new perfume and glitter! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME NOW!!!" Screamed Edward.

To prove Edward wrong, Jacob walked up and punched him.

"OW!" Said Edward.

"Haha!" Laughed everyone else.

"Dude belongs in a crazy house..." Said Adrian.

"AH! PIXIE!!" Said Edward. And sure enough Alice was walking up to them....dressed like tinkerbell.

"What the hell?" Said Christian.

"Hello, fair citizens! I am Alice of the land of magical of Sporks!" She was flcking her wand at everybody, showering them with glitter.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Edward screamed when the glitter touched him. "Wait, GLITTER!! I LOVE GLITTER!!!" He started frolicking in the glitter...that boy was weird.

"Who, may I ask, are you?" Asked Alice.

"Um, I'm Liv, these are my friends Taylor, Sophie, and Katy, and this is Dimitri, Fang, Iggy, Edward, Rosalie, Adrian, and Christian." Said Liv. "Oh, and thats Marissa." She added.

"Are you from Sporks to?"

"Um, no."

"Oh, well." Suddenly everyone got really happy, and Jasper walked up...wearing a tutu as well.

"Hello, fair people!" He said, flicking his wand too.

"Really?" Said Adrian sarcastically. "Another fairy? And why do I feel so...happy?"

"Yeah, I feel happy too and I never am!" Said Christian.

"BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!" Screamed Jasper. Then he calmed down.

"Ok!!" Then Jasper and Alice started skipping in a circle and flapping their little pixie wings and saying 'wee.'

"This is messed up." Said Jacob.

"Toooootally." Agreed Adrian.

"No, like seriously, we should take them to a mental hospital."

"NOOOOO NOT THERE!!!! I BARLEY ESCAPED WITH MY LIFE!!! Never going back, never...never....never...never...never...." Said Alice.

"She's an escaped mental patient!!" Said Iggy.

"AHH!" They all screamed and ran away...and back into Hannah Montana!

"AHHHH!" They screamed again.

"U get the beeeeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds

chillin out take it slow then you screw up the show

u get the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest of both worlds!!!" She greeted them. Then a pole appeared and she started pole dancing.

"Nobody likes it when a kid's pop icon pole dances!!" Said Sophie smartly.

"I DO!!" Said Miley/Hannah.

"Are you really Hannah and Miley?" Asked Edward.

"Of course not sweetie! I'm just Hannah!" She bent behind a bush and ripped her wig and bald cap off. "And I'm just Miley!!" She said and her hair was all messed up with leaves sticking out.

"Phew. What a relief." Said Edward.

"Soooo," She said to Dimitri. "Where were we?" She tried to kiss him, and Liv ripped her off and slapped her.

"Do NOT try anything like that again!" Said Liv.

"Oh yeah?" Then a gangsta came and kidnapped Hannah/Miley.

"ok..." Said Adrian. "Who was that?"

"Dunno, dont care." Said Katy, going to make out with Adrian.

"As long as she's gone!" Said Dimitri.

"YEAH!" They all agreed. Edward broke down.

"Hannah just got hit by a meteor!" He said, pointing. And, sure enough, hannah was under...a meteor. They all ran over to investigate.

"Goodbye, all my wonderful fans! And don't forget to by my Hannah Montana lunchbox and my new CD!!!" She said before she died.

Then a bunch of little girls ran over. "NO!" They said, clutching their Hannah Montana lunchboxes and CDs. Then she sat up a little, and her wig fell off.

"You're really Miley and Hannah?" Asked a 7 year old.

"Duh! I mean, how stupid are you kids? I put on a wig and change my voice a little, and voila you're all fooled and I make double the money!" Then Katy kicked her in the face with her stiletto and Hannah/Miley died...hopefully for good!

"YAY!" All the normal people cheered.

"Yes! Finally!" Said Liv.

"NOOOO!" Said Edward.

"Oh, suck it up Ed-weird." Said Christian.

Just then...a giant bird swooped down and slapped Taylor!!

**OH! A CLIFFIE!!! who is the giant bird? guess and u get cookies!**

**so how did i do? this is my first chapter, and sophie's gona write the next 1!!!**

**review plz! we love reviews!**

**oh and that 1 part where hannah montana got crushed by a meteor, ny1 who guesses who that is WINS a spot in our other story!!**

**NOW GO ONWARD AND REVIEW OR THE PIXIES WILL COME 4 U!!!**


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